Day #5: Oh No I Broke It

28 Apr

Just as avocadogirl was saying that I had willpower…

So all day today i was just fine. I went and had a soothing back massage with my friend to clean out my toxins. It was 8pm and I was getting hungry while waiting to meet my friends for a movie. Unfortunately, I didn’t have any lemonade left. The Stupid Move: I WENT INTO WHOLE FOODS with my friend who needed to pick up a few things and I started to crave. As you guys know, with the fast you don’t crave sugar or pizza you just crave healthy things like a juicy apple or a fresh salad. My stomach and mind went off, I was literally salvating over the vegetable stand. There were samples and i couldn’t resist. From there I got a tiny takeout container and promised myself that would be it. However, I got to the movie and was still hungry and STILL didn’t have my lemonade. It was there that it all ended… I’m talking a lemon bar, popcorn and later a veggie mozzarella wrap.

I am sitting on my computer now after this episode and not killing myself about breaking the fast, but regretting that I ended it so rashly and horribly. I wanted to ease myself back into food, go for a raw food diet afterwords, maintain a light stomach, etc. Now, I am lying here with a TOO full belly and not feeling cleanse-tastic anymore. Shame, shame. I have just decided to go through with it and drink my herbal laxative tea tonight and salt flush in the morning, then see how I feel. I want to get my light stomach back so I can either start my cleanse again or start my healthy eating on the right food.

My main problem with eating by the way is not the wrong food, just that I eat TOO much. I generally eat very healthy-consciously and nutritiously. The only complaint I can think of is that I drink too much. But hey, justified-I’m young and most of my socializing happens at bars (even though i am starting a revolt to change that). The best thing about the cleanse is that I had a light stomach all day. Eating too much gives you a heavy stomach that makes you feel sick or just tired. I’m not saying a STUFFED stomach, I have just realized (even more so through the cleanse) that I feel happiest and healthiest when I have a light stomach. Small portions is really the way to go.

My god, I have eaten so much food and so unproperly – I don’t even know what my body is going to do with it! Plus the laxative tea… wish me luck. Not to beat up on myself too hard, but I guess the AM will be a punishment for the mistakes of PM.

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One Response to “Day #5: Oh No I Broke It”

  1. avocadogirl April 28, 2007 at 6:54 am #

    Hi Hon,

    You shouldn’t beat yourself up about this at all. So what, you fell off the wagon – it has really made you realize what is and isn’t good for you. You recognize you eat relatively healthy meals, but consume too much. Now that’s what you need to focus on.

    Maybe planning ahead, what you plan to have tomorrow.

    Yip, I agree – small meals is the way to go and if you are not hungry don’t force yourself to eat.

    You are still strong and you will still be one hottie on the the beach this year.

    love, love always
    xxxxx

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